A Perfect Day for a Woman






8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses. 

8:30 Weigh in 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday. 

8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants. 

9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil. 

10:00 Light workout at the club with handsome, funny personal trainer. 

10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out. 

12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe. 

12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs. 

13:00 Shopping with friends. 

15:00 Nap. 

16:00 A dozen roses delivered by a florist. Card is from a secret admirer. 

16:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage. 

17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before mirror. 

19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing. 

22:00 Hot shower. Alone. 

22:30 Make love. 

23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling. 

23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms. 

A Perfect Day for a Man




6:00 Alarm. 

6:15 Blowjob. 

6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today. 

7:00 Breakfast. Filet mignon, eggs, toast and coffee. 

7:30 Limo arrives. 

7:45 Bloody Mary en-route to airport. 

8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia. 

9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club. 

9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par. 

11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens. 

12:15 Blowjob. 

12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par. 

14:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis. 

14:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap. 

15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew. 

16:30 Catch world record light tackle Marlin - 1249 lbs. 

17:00 Jet back home. En-route get massage from naked Kathy Ireland. 

19:00 Watch CNN newsflash: Bush resigns. 

19:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak. 

21:00 Relax after dinner with a 1789 Augier Cognac and Cuban Partagas Lusitanias Natural wrapped cigar. 

22:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs. 

23:00 Massage and jacuzzi. 

23:45 Go to bed. 

23:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room. 

23:55 Giggle yourself to sleep.