|A Perfect Day for a
6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today.
7:00 Breakfast. Filet mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en-route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
14:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
14:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew.
16:30 Catch world record light tackle Marlin - 1249 lbs.
17:00 Jet back home. En-route get massage from naked Kathy Ireland.
19:00 Watch CNN newsflash: Bush resigns.
19:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak.
21:00 Relax after dinner with a 1789 Augier Cognac and Cuban Partagas Lusitanias Natural wrapped cigar.
22:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
23:00 Massage and jacuzzi.
23:45 Go to bed.
23:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
23:55 Giggle yourself to sleep.