Jewish Mothers

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?" 

COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!" 

MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that junk off the ceiling?" 

NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

 ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Again with the hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?" 

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!" 

THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!" 

PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew." 

And, of course, these two, who really did have Jewish mothers: 

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Couldn't you do something about your hair?" 

MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years."