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Why not use one of these replies next time you are out of the office?

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

I am currently out at a interview for a decent job and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged 5.99 for the first ten words and 1.99 for each additional word in your message.

The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. The beauty of this one is when you do return you can see how many in-duh-viduals fell for this more than once :-)

Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST:

I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Davina' instead of 'Dave'.

credit: Uwe