1. Life is like photography. Use the negative to develop. 

2. Be a fundamentalist. Make sure the fun always comes before the mental. 

3. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears causing truth decay - so be sure to use mental floss twice a day. 

4. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. I no mad at you. You no mad at me. That way there'll be no madness on the planet. And peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere. 

5. Great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so, if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it. 

6. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world and we'll never have to change it again. 

7. If you're looking to find the key to the universe, I have some bad news and some good news.
The bad news is - there is no key to the universe.
The good news is - it has been left unlocked. 

8. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy. So we don't have to go through channels.

credit: Jeevan/Swami Beyondananda